Don't Be Afraid To Give Up The Good
New. Teachers.
You will most likely struggle. You will most likely feel like you're failing in some way. Why? Because social media has presented us with MILLIONS of photos and class stories and descriptions implying that rooms are full. That they are teaching and living off their classes and if that is you. You are awesome. If you are like me and that is not you, you are still awesome.
When I started my teacher training I had no intention of actually teaching. Even though it does not show, I have problems speaking in front of people. This often comes out in my mixing up hands and feet or lefts and rights in my classes. I decided I wanted to teach when I felt something from a fellow teacher where I was taking my 200 hour training. Part of the requirement was that we were to hold free classes, to help us learn our own language, to allow others to tell us what worked and what did not.
My first class was ending, everyone was down in shavasana, and I sat quietly, attempting to meditate. And suddenly a flow of energy hit me. I could feel it pulsating towards me from the right side of the room. I felt this calm, encouraging feeling come over me. And then, like the first class I took at Open Way Yoga, a voice came to me. "Don't be afraid, give up the good" it said to me. As I sat there pondering what this could have meant, what this means for me and I realized, my entire shared practice I have been having people tell me 'you are good'. Could this mean I should try a little harder? No, part of yoga is not about the pose. Could this mean I should try to advance some more, look into the spiritual side of yoga? Nothing significant came to me. And then I thought, could this mean I should share this path I have taken? Should I extend the hand and allow others to join me on my journey? An overwhelming sense of peace washed over me at that. In the ten minutes I was sitting with my students in shavasana, I figured out that I should teach, that I wanted to teach.
Fast forward a year and a half. I have been teaching just over a year. I have been teaching multiple classes the last six months. I just recently added a new class. It has taken me this long to understand that social media shows you what they want you to see. So they post pictures of them traveling and teaching to several dozen students at one time. As a new teacher, that can be exhilarating and frightening. It can be strived for and unachieved. And as much as I would love to have a class, even just one, that fills up a room... Its the one on one classes that are my favorite.
It's the classes where you have an empty room and you wait for a few minutes longer for that one student who is always running late. For that student who rarely has a complaint, who is always up for anything. That one student who loves your classes and lets other people know how much she enjoys them. For that one student who walks in and surprises you by saying "can we work on hips!?" For that one student. And in an overwhelming sense of pride, I find that this is my great. I am not striving to be like the other teachers. I'm striving to be more of myself. To be more authentic to myself. To share and help heal others like yoga has for me.
I have a solid group of followers at each place I teach. My Friday night classes range from one to five. I have a couple classes that average right around six. and then there is one class that I am brand new to and have yet to have the same people return. Sometime even no one shows up. I have had people walk in, see it was me teaching and leave. I've had people leave part way through my class. Everything takes time. For you it may be short period of time, or it might seem like that time is dragging on. Never doubt yourself. Never change yourself. And as long as you are staying true to yourself, never fear giving up the good.